I got a call from a friend just before Christmas. She sounded a little off beat, so I asked the dreaded question..."Is everything alright?" "Well...no" she answered, and went on to tell me how she and her husband were calling it quits after nearly 10 years of marriage and a child. "He says he loves me, but that he doesn't like me; which is ok, because I like him, but I don't love him anymore."
Over the last several years, my husband and I have watched the break-up of a number of marriages involving friends or family. Each time the news is shared, my husband and I hold each other and vow that we not fall to the same fate. We attempt to analyze the situation from the outside looking in, and certainly not having all of the information. Not attempting to pass judgement, just attempting to identify mistakes that were made in order not to make them ourselves.
Neither of us take our commitment lightly. We both come from homes where our parents "stayed married"...and happily so. Not that they always agreed on everything or that they never had moments of apparent unhappiness, certainly they did and do. But, they were committed. First to God and then to each other. Not to self, or career, or kids, or hobbies, or friends, but to the marriage. Their individuality, their work, their parenting, their play, their loyalty was and is enhanced by the partnership.
My husband and I have referred to each other as soul mates. Two souls that were created to complement each other sent to earth in separate times and separate places, but given gentle nudges over the years to make choices that would bring them together. It is our souls that cling to each other when we hear of another break-up, as if we are "recharging" our strength to bear the pressures that the world places on a marriage. Knowing that we often take our connection for granted and that in doing so, we risk losing it.
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